K| One time I hit my brother

One time I hit my brother

so hard I thought I killed him,

but he was never supposed to exist

in the first place, so I didn’t

really feel that bad about it.

But what would I tell my parents?

They call him a mistake,

but in a doting way and I just hate that.

They like him–they really, really like him,

probably more than me.

So do I cry and pretend it was an accident?

He did not end up dying

but he did crumple

like a piece of paper in my arms

and he asked me to forgive him

for whatever he did wrong

and I didn’t know what to say

because he didn’t do anything wrong,

I just didn’t know why he had to exist.

Together we buried this secret

alongwith that time he ate an extra

piece of candy so we called it even

Maybe I was just too young to understand–

except I did understand.

One time I hit my brother so hard he forgot

but I never will.

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