There are many different types of goodbyes. There’s the “we’ll see each other soon, though” goodbye versus the “we won’t ever see each other again” goodbye. There’s also the “this conversation got awkward real fast, so I’m just going to pretend I need to leave right now” goodbye. And don’t forget the “I love you, but I have to save the universe right now and we’ll meet again at some distant star” goodbye. Okay, that one only happens in the movies, but you get the point. There is a plethora of meanings for the one simple word of “goodbye.”
My goodbye from today, in my opinion, was the worst of it all. It was the “we can’t be friends anymore” goodbye.
Today was the high school graduation of my best friend of 8 years, Laurie. I thought we were just going to exchange the “one of us graduated first, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t going to go on froyo dates all the time next year” goodbye, but I was wrong.
At 7:30 AM this morning, the time when I got to Laurie’s house, Laurie was conspicuously moody. She was just all over the place. I figured it was graduation jitters and being annoyed at Peter (her boyfriend) jitters. Peter was originally supposed to drive to her house and then her mom would take all of us to graduation, but then Peter tells us at 7:40 AM he has no ride and we were supposed to leave the house at 7:40 AM. So, Laurie was annoyed at Peter. Her mom was annoyed at Peter. And Laurie was annoyed at her mom for being annoyed at Peter. It was quite a mess.
When we all got to graduation though, Laurie was fine again and I was so happy we were going to spend the day together. The graduation ceremony itself was hot, crowded, and kind of boring actually (did they really need to spend thirty minutes going over where every single administrative staff went to undergrad and graduate school?), but it was worth it because my best friend graduated from high school!
After the graduation ceremony, Laurie’s mom took all of us to eat lunch at this really delicious sushi restaurant. And that’s when it all went downhill. Laurie just stopped talking to all of us, her mom, Peter, and me. She played candy crush all through lunch while her mom, Peter, and I awkwardly ate our sushi in silence. At one point I thought Laurie was going to burst out into angry tears.
My theory is that the exact moment when Laurie got annoyed or mad or upset was when Peter and I started talking about a Lang assignment. Peter and I basically despise each other, or close to despise. We don’t get along. The only reason why we even tolerate each other is for Laurie. But today, because of Laurie’s behavior, Peter admitted to me that Laurie has had major issues with the relationship between Peter and me for a long time now. Apparently, she thinks he’s going to fall in love with me after she leaves for college, which is completely inane because once again we basically despise each other. I guess our five minute conversation about Lang made Laurie see me as someone who would potentially steal her boyfriend away from her.
Everything gets even more awkward during the drive back to her house, because now Laurie is just so blatantly angry at everyone. When we finally get to her house, the awkwardness prevails.
While I’m putting my stuff down and about to figure out what I’m going to do from there, since originally I planned on hanging out with Laurie but obviously it didn’t seem likely to happen anymore, suddenly, her dog rushes out at me.
I have never ever had issues with dogs before. I don’t have a phobia of dogs. I don’t own a dog personally, but my friends have dogs and while I wouldn’t say I’m a dog whisperer or anything, I’m still pretty good with them. Today, though was crazy. Her dog just straight up started mauling at me. I’m still in a squatting position at this point from putting my stuff down so her dog starts aiming at my face with her paws and with her mouth and I honestly just felt terrorized.
So, I start screaming for help. I’m almost crying and I’m screaming and I’m completely panicked and I look at Laurie as I’m begging for help and she just stays sitting at her couch, staring at me struggle, and doesn’t come.
Her dog is basically attacking me for a solid 5 minutes while Laurie just watches it all unfold. I’m screaming and I’m screaming…and I’m screaming. And Laurie doesn’t help me. She doesn’t come. She doesn’t care.
Then her mom hears and runs towards her dog with a stick and chases her dog away and then once the dog is away I immediately run towards the bathroom. At this point, I’ve completely lost it and I’m just bawling my eyes out. And in the bathroom I lock the door and call my mom to pick me up.
I wait in the bathroom for a solid hour before my mom comes and I take my stuff and leave.
I have never in my life experienced such cruelty at the hands of a friend, or actually anybody. I’ve never been through anything like that before. My best friend of 8 years watched her dog attack me and let me struggle as I screamed for her help. I still have cuts all over my legs and my thighs.
It’s goodbye. It’s the “I love you so much, but you don’t care about me, and I’m always trying so hard to make you like me again, but nothing I do is enough, and I’ve done all I can, and we can’t be friends anymore because I can’t be friends with someone who makes me feel so disposable and worthless” goodbye.
I’ve never felt more horrible.