K| To the Girl Who Didn’t Get Asked to Prom

I am with you, girlfriend. I am so with you. I wanted to get asked to Prom. I really did. My mom and I even custom designed my dress and I’ve been to three fittings already so that it’ll be perfect. I wanted to be able to look back years from now and be proud to know that I wasn’t the girl who didn’t get asked Prom. Except I am.

The worst part, though, is not just the not getting asked, it’s the disappointment of expecting to be asked, and then it not happening. I’ve never been the girl that gets asked to homecoming and winter formal (wait, we might not even have a winter formal, I’m not sure) every school year. And I’ve always been okay with it. I did not start junior year thinking that this was the year I was going to get asked to prom because normally, juniors tend to not go with dates anyways, so I wasn’t even a tiny bit concerned with prom. I just figured I’d go with my closest group of girlfriends and we’d have fun together. But then, my friends all ended up getting asked and it was just me left without a date. And I was really upset because I did not want to be that one girl without a date in the prom group.

But then, I started noticing these signs from this boy, Collin, who I sit with on the bus. So, Collin and I have known each other since elementary school and we’re neighbors actually. While we don’t have any classes together or anything, I consider us friends because we talk every day on the way home and we text. I always thought that we had really good chemistry and I just really enjoy talking to him.

When prom asking season became increasingly imminent, everyone on the bus just suddenly started ignoring me, especially Collin. Collin used to sit across from me every day so that we could prop our feet up on each others’ seats and talk for our terribly long bus ride (30 minutes), but for some reason, one day he just stopped, which was really weird. Then, I started to hear Collin and all the other people I normally talk to on the bus that were now ignoring me whispering all the time and phrases like “just ask her, dude” and “it’ll be fun to go with her” started floating around.

So, I was pretty darn sure that they were talking about me and that Collin was going to prompose to me. I even heard some girls whisper about Collin probably asking me to prom in the hallways at school. All signs just seemed to be pointing to me. And I took in those signs with zealous excitement.

But, then I found out for sure that Collin was actually going to ask someone else. And I was pretty crushed both because Collin wasn’t going to ask me and because everyone actually was just ignoring me on the bus for real. Thus, all seemed lost. But then, the girl that Collin was going to ask ended up getting asked by some guy from a different school. So, I guess there was some hope for me? But I was pretty annoyed by everything and wasn’t sure I even cared about Collin anymore.

But then, I heard some more whispering. More whispering that seemed to be more about me than it was before. I’m pretty sure I even heard my name one day. So, I kind of had hope again. While I was not excited to be someone’s second choice, I  also couldn’t help but want to get asked anyways. I was filled with zealous excitement, again, especially because this time I was even more sure that Collin was going to ask me.

Turns out, he wasn’t. Collin’s second choice actually was this girl who is one year above us who had a serious thing with one of Collin’s closest friends. Apparently, she just drove over to Collin’s house one day and made out with him in his basement when his parents were away. That might have been the first time they interacted with one another, but I guess that was enough for Collin.

Again, I was crushed.

But then, Collin decided not to break bro code, so his second choice also became not viable.

Somewhere, during this time, when I was really sure that Collin was going to ask me, I had my friend tell him that if he was going to ask me, I would definitely say yes, in the hopes of pushing him to ask me sooner. I know, it was an embarrassing move.

But I figured that it couldn’t be that embarrassing because Collin was looking for someone else to ask again, and if I’m definitely going to say yes to him, then he would definitely be most likely to want to ask me next.

Apparently not.

Collin ended up asking this girl who I’m sure he doesn’t even really talk to. It was a very cute promposal. I double tapped when I saw it on Instagram, but inside, I was crushed.

At this point, I had already had a dress ready for prom and everything so I decided that I just had to go this year. I had to. So, I decided to get J to try to convince my best guy friend, Toby, to ask me. Toby ended up sending me a multi paragraph Facebook message lecturing me about how I am not the only girl in his life and that I need to accept that he is going to ask whoever he wants to ask and I need to butt out of that decision. Toby did not end up asking anyone. I’m not sure what his deal is.

So, here I am, Monday night, still dateless and prom is just four nights away. I decided that I’m not going this year. I’m not going to lie and say that I’m not disappointed, because I am so disappointed, but I didn’t want to write this post in order to exude negativity, because that’s not what I’m about and that’s not what this blog is about.

I’m writing this post to tell you that sometimes disappointments like this happen and the only thing that you can do is just move on. J, who also is not going to prom this year (I think she should write a post about prom, too, what do you think?), and a few other friends of mine are going to go bowling instead and I bet you that we are going to have a fantastic time.

I think Kelly Clarkson put it best, “Doesn’t mean I’m lonely just because I’m alone.” Doesn’t mean I’m undesirable because I didn’t get asked to prom. Doesn’t mean I’m unattractive. Doesn’t mean I’m unlikable. Doesn’t mean I’m uncool. Doesn’t mean anything about me as a person.

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