J| The First BF

I was inspired by K’s post and wanted to write about my first boyfriend:

My first boyfriend, if we’re going to be technical, was in middle school – 8th grade to be exact. That’s right I was a hoe starting from middle school. An early bloomer. Though, you really can’t call me early if you compare me to some of the other hoe’s at my middle school. No joke, some of them would have sex in the band room – that’s right: in MIDDLE SCHOOL. Anyhow, even though my first technical boyfriend was pretty drama free and cute and whatnot, I really wouldn’t call him my first BF. My FIRST first, I would say, would be the boy I dated around second semester Freshman year. Just like K, my “first” was also a junior. Jesus Christ, what was wrong with that year of boys?

My first and I met pretty weirdly. To be honest, I was just being a thirsty hoe that was very desperate for him. My desperateness, I would say, stemmed from my past. My mysterious past that I will have to cover some other time because it’s quite long. If we’re going to be very blunt, you could say I stalked him. But since I’m a cute girl, most people wouldn’t call it stalking. It was just researching. Or interactive observing. Yeah, that’s a better word.

He was my brother’s friend first. I had a huge crush on my brother’s friend. I know that’s totally cliche but that was the very reason was why I totally loved it. I was a freshman in high school who’s only interaction with relationships was through those cliched television and movies or that pathetic middle school “relationship” of mine that I am hesitant to even put quotations around. I saw this cute friend of my brothers around school a couple of times and every time I saw him I swear I would die a little on the inside. I’m laughing as I’m typing this because two years later I realize just how not cute he was. He was short, Korean, with a little bit too much interest in his hair. But I guess that was what I was into as a freshman – KPOP star wannabes.

So, I would see him around school and thought he was cute. What’s the first thing people do nowadays when they go through something like this? That’s right. I found him on facebook. I distinctly remember I was very disappointed at the lack of photos of him. I friended him right away and was ABSOLUTELY THRILLED when he accepted. I was able to access more photos of him! During my scavenging of said scarce photos, I was able to find an email. This is where the story really starts. I added him on gmail and with an anxious heart I sent him my first chat. We talked about korean dramas I think. Another detail I distinctly remember is how unresponsive he was when I first chatted him. But don’t worry girls, I got him to open up eventually.

Then we began to acknowledge each other at school. Looking back I think I had fun with the chase. A cute upperclassman boy that seemed unattainable gave me attention. It was SO fun. People started questioning our relationship and somehow, somewhere, we started dating. It was fun at first. And innocent. We sent each other pictures we made on paint, made wishes at 11:11 and walked around school together talking about anything and everything.

I guess I got bored of him. Like I said, I just really liked the chase. (I know, I know, I’m a hoe.) And I guess the fact that he was an older boy was just so cool. And also he did my homework. That’s probably why the relationship lasted longer than it should have. But instead of coming out straightforward and directly, I beat around the bush. I ignored him. Maybe for about a week straight until one day I accidentally sent him a message and was forced to talk to him. But then after that conversation I went back to ignoring him.

I think the most important thing I learned about this real first boyfriend is not to jump into a relationship with someone you don’t even really know. He and I had talked maybe for a week or two before we decided we would be each other’s boyfriend and girlfriend. Honestly, we just weren’t very compatible. Also, try to think long term. Even if we were compatible, we never could have lasted very long. He was getting ready to apply to college. I was getting ready to really begin high school.

Recently, there has been a boy I had a thing with. We’ve had a thing for maybe a year now. He’s cuter, taller, and smarter than my first. But I won’t date him. Why? Because from my first relationship I learned to wait and from waiting I learned that even though I might have a crush on him sometimes, most of the time I just find him really annoying and needy.

My first and I are still pretty good terms. We follow each other on Instagram. He likes my pictures. I don’t wish bad for him at all and I doubt he wishes bad for me. Even though I used to cringe about my first relationship, I would say now, 2 years later, now that I am older and wiser, I am definitely not unhappy about having dated him. He was nice, we had fun, and he taught me something I’ll never forget. Also he got me an A in compsci.

Thanks Ry, for everything.




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