Tip of the tongue syndrome, or presque vu, is something I learned about in psychology class. It pretty much describes the feeling of thinking of a word or phrase, but not being able to retrieve the piece of information from your memory. Ultimately, it renders you at a literal loss for words. That’s why K, J, and I decided to use this term as our blog name.
As a teenager with no sense of emotional direction or responsibility, it usually helps to write everything down so that it slips away from your brain to your paper. Lately, or rather most of the times I even try to write anything remotely insightful, I experience tip of the tongue syndrome. In this case, my symptoms include thinking so hard that my eyes begin to cross themselves, biting my lip and looking up at the ceiling, and even going onto (dare I say it) google to type in a string of words that I can’t actually put together. There’s always this fear nagging me in the back of my mind that my writing will be boring, clichéd, and terrible to read. Mainly, this is due to the fact that my age is a disadvantage. I haven’t experienced many things at all besides various disagreements with irritable “friends”, and school stress.
They do say, though, that every day annoyances can cause a great deal of stress that can be detrimental to one’s health so my school stress is not something to be taken lightly. The burden of overall lack of experience in the field of life added with tip of the tongue syndrome makes me absolutely livid when I try to write something groundbreaking. Groundbreaking is never really what I achieve, although I think in my head I get pretty close.
But then I encounter a situation where I know I have the perfect word for what I’m feeling, and I want to write it down so badly so that I can see it in front of me and know it exists. It’s like a trophy to show that I thought of something so unprecedented and wonderful and I created it and delivered it fully, doing the best I could. And I don’t have it. I don’t have that word that I want, and that trophy’s snatched away by something in my head that’s so terribly smug that I can’t reach that far back into my memory to retrieve what I want to say.
So here I am, with two of my friends, trying to use this blog to effectively communicate what I’m thinking. I’m not sure if it’s even possible for a teenage girl to actually explain how she’s feeling, but with this blog I know that I’ll try. I think it’s important to note that I used to dream of becoming famous for doing something big. I wanted to do something so amazing and awe-inspiring that people would remember me as person, not just my actions.
Although this may seem a bit self-absorbed, I think all of us want to achieve this to some degree. I think it’s also important to note that starting a blog with my two friends is by no means a work of charity or philanthropy that deserves an award. However, I think that what we’re doing here is nothing short of awe-inspiring. I think having the courage to face this tip of the tongue syndrome head on, guns blazing, is something I would have never done before. Whether or not I overcome this syndrome is irrelevant at the moment, because I think the mere act of trying is enough of a trophy for me.
It’s an adventure with challenges that I’ve made for myself, and I’m excited to see myself come out as a winner.